Bicycle Misadventure
Cast: Transportation provided by: Soundtrack:     This adventure started as a simple bike ride to Boca Chica Key, where G.E.H. Field and your correspondent were intending to bicycle to the end of old highway 1 and determine where it either ended or came out on Key West NAS.
    Things went well enough at first, we passed G.E.H.'s apartment for a rest and then headed off down the bike path that paralleled U.S. 1. Unfortunately, this is where I met disaster. I had taken the point on my recently repaired, though ancient, Schwinn 10 speed and was in top gear. I checked the traffic light, I had a green so I proceeded at speed. Unfortunately, this was during spring break season, and some idiot frat boys and their sluts decided to use this time to run the light. My bicycle impacted the car, I flew over the handlebars in a move that G.E.H. described as being similar to a scene in "Wayne's World". I bounced grogily off the hood, and my hand clutched to the left side of my face. G.E.H. stopped in time. I turned toward G.E.H. and stated that I thought it might be wise to postpone the ride, simultaneously taking my hand away from my face. I'm told that there was blood everywhere. The frat boys started making dumb excuses, their sluts said things like "Oh my God" and some old guy who came from who knows where said I should hold something to the wound. I thought this was a bad idea, because there were glass fragments imbedded in my face that I could feel, but I did it anyway because I was too disoriented to object.

    Soon after, the Macho Cop arrived. For some reason, he attempted to make things out to be my fault. He stood in front of a "Bicycle Trail" sign and told me that there was no bicycle trail there. I asked him to turn around and he refused. G.E.H. started arguing with the cop. An ambulance arrived. The last I remember of the scene was G.E.H. saying "O.K. tough guy" to the cop, before the ambulance crew told the cop that it was necessary to take me away.
    On the way there, they asked me if I knew where I was. The back of the ambulance didn't have any windows, so I told them I did not. They seemed concerned and asked again, so I told them that I was in an ambulance. They then asked me what state I was in, and seemed relieved when I told them Florida. I honestly didn't understand the question the first two times...
     I got to the hospital, got 17 stiches all around my eye, a bunch of glass slivers removed, and G.E.H. took me home.

    Epilogue: Despite the much lauded American litigation, I never got any compensation for my bicycle, which had a bent frame, nor for any pain, suffering, or disfigurement (which fortunately is slight). On the other hand, the car had $500 of damage to it.
    Moral: It is probably a good idea to wear a helmet while bicycling so that you can break car windshields without injury.

E-mail me at CKDerrick@usa.net with sympathy.

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